Out Of Here

by Ardie Collins

supported by
Nathan Goode
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Nathan Goode Never judge an album by its cover...this one, which gives Dylan at his wittiest a run for his money, includes one of the best songs ever - Kind of Love - the "if you only ever write one song" kind of song. Lux Lisbon saw this and did their own (excellent) version. Maybe one day there will be an entire album of kind of Love covers, like the best of Dylan. Favorite track: Kind Of Love.
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1.
(free) 01:08
And we rest upon a promise that this might not be dumb luck And we tell ourselves that we won't let the ocean swallow us But you can't keep shunning happiness for fear it fades away We'll keep running up the tab on the chance that we won't pay
2.
04:34
There has to be an end to all of this self-reference Like a paradox should kick in and help us to buck the trend I could tell you of the day I didn’t tell a lie But I couldn’t if I even tried, I couldn’t if I even tried And they tell us that we’ll do just what feels right And they’re wrong because I don’t put up a fight It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time, we’re falling’ kind of love Yeah I suppose that when all’s said and done it was a kind of love Swirling round the floorboards are the things we never said ‘cause they shivered in our cold feet and moved elsewhere instead And I cannot explain away what happened on that bitter day I cannot explain it away, but I’ll try anyway And they tell us that we’ll do just what feels right And they’re wrong because I don’t put up a fight It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time, we’re falling’ kind of love Yeah I suppose that when all’s said and done it was a kind of love And it can’t all be that bad And we’ve seen the sky this grey And I am pulling out the stops to make these old words fade away Let them all just fade away It was a ‘pass it on before it burns your fingers’ kind of love It was a ‘celebrate your losses like a trooper’ kind of love It was a ‘we’ll never make it out of here in one piece’ kind of love It was a ‘can’t you tell it’s hot as hell and growing’ kind of love It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time we’re falling’ kind of love It was a ‘hold on tight the whole damn time we’re falling’ kind of love It was a ‘hold on tight ‘cause “oh my god we’re falling”’ kind of love Yeah I suppose that when all’s said done it was a kind of love
3.
You will always long for a time of plastic dinosaurs and den in a forest filled with friends We do tend to romanticise and no one’s ever found out how to pause, as simple as it was Now all they are are thoughts And though I am in danger of whimsy of the highest degree, I want to climb a tree And we’ll climb hard And we’ll climb high And we will breathe A better sky And it will taste Of our old dreams And it is laced With history And we will chase The stratosphere And we will force our way Out of here
4.
Well it may be beyond us to harvest the grain From this timid summer, heaving with rain And though they scramble to pair off, and I understand why Time’s layers are shedding, with a smile so sly And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age Well I stopped all the clocks in this relentless house I struck up a bargain, I felt just like Faust I promised my struggle would all be in vain I promised to pretend that I knew about pain And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age Here’s to swollen ambition, here’s to perilous pride We are living in a play, this is all an aside And though they scramble to pair off, and I understand why Time’s layers are shedding, with a smile so sly And I know you’re accused of Draconian ways But they couldn’t be more wrong, you’re brimming with grace My name’s just some letters, that cling to the page But they needn’t worry, they’ll never age
5.
This is not a tragedy, your exaggeration worries me, catastrophising everything is no way to live But the harps and halos have struck the ground and the curious have gathered round, and struck up some brilliance in a way we never did And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come Well the park feels like a stranger now, it’s seen me at my worst And the baker and the butcher gathered ‘round the hearse Where the candlestick maker lies quiet as a mouse His shoddy workmanship had let the flame slip that would end setting fire to his house And in his final splutter in the smoke, the irony wasn’t lost on him, at least So we’ll leave them to wax lyrical about the origins of war, when we know that yearning has got a lot to answer for Well it’s all written by the victors it’s all boys with rocks to hurl, and trying to pretend it’s not all to impress some girl And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come. The difference now was marginal but you had earned an arsenal of self-destructive thoughts They clamoured at your sanity and nothing else but brevity of language could be used to stop from being caught And the visionary heroes are trying to tame the night, they’ve made some kind of breakthrough and you know that they just might But whatever this was it had a good run, well 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ready or not here we come
6.
You were young, fell off the bough It forces a contortion of your face into a frown And so I must accept that I’ll always be the clown And though I should’ve guessed I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest And when I lie horizontal it weighs me down And so we strive for a legacy A needless piece of something to prove that we once breathed I earned myself an epigraph and I thought I’d feel complete And though I should’ve guessed I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest And when I lie horizontal I can hardly breathe Perhaps it’s in my head Congealing my neuroses, transcending out of bed An alloy forms out of stomach and lead And though I should’ve guessed I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest And when I lie horizontal my legs they fear they're dead A useless, weakened clasp Your voice is barely present like an underwhelming rasp It lingers in the distance like a truth that’s hard to grasp And though I should’ve guessed I felt I should confront you; there was something on my chest And when I lie horizontal I splutter between gasps
7.
03:30
This is the season, this is the season of war, won’t you make yourself at home There is a reason, there is a reason you’re sore, it’s ‘cause you can’t handle alone But I am the king of this thing I love to croak as I sing and watch all of the words as they spill over all of the floor They told me to hold onto this, they told me that I’d be the coolest, the coolest kid in the school I went and believed them, I went and believed them, I’m usually nobody’s fool But a truth in all of this rings I love to croak as I sing and make up some half-written story about something that never happened at school Press on you infamous creep, press on you infamous creep, we would expect nothing less And everything round us has slowed, everything round us has slowed, until we have halted and stopped for some breath But there’s something I always bring I love to croak as I sing and take every moment for myself as if there won’t be any left
8.
05:05
And since my head’s still in the clouds, and regret’s a passing fad I don’t need to compromise for something that I never even had And I probably never will, I am stranger than you think I can live inside a fantasy while all the while I’m edging to the brink And I know you have something dull to say And I know you will say it anyway You say I must be woozy or lonely It’s like accusing me of suicide, accusing me of carelessness of heart When care is all I’ve got Yeah, it’s ripping through the floor Yeah, it’s churning up the earth that might surround the house that we will one day sit in growing old And I’ll sing the notes all flat I will pelt them at the walls ‘cause I am barely seconds from resolving that it’s hardly worth anything at all And so by now we’ve come full circle, So by now they moan as usual They say ‘Why? Why us?’, They say ‘Why? Why us?’ They scream ‘Why? Why us?’, They scream ‘Why? Why us?’ And since my head’s still in the clouds, and regret’s a passing fad I don’t need to compromise for something that I never even had And I know love is meant to drive us all And I know all is fair in love and war And so I’m sorry that it bores me Yeah I’m sorry that it bores me Yeah, I’m sorry that it bores me Yeah I’m sorry that it bores me You say I must be woozy or lonely It’s like accusing me of suicide, accusing me of carelessness of heart When care is all I’ve got Yeah, it’s ripping through the floor Yeah, it’s churning up the earth that might surround the house that we will one day sit in growing old And I’ll sing the notes all flat I will pelt them at the walls ‘cause I am barely seconds from resolving that it’s hardly worth anything at all And you tell me that’s enough That I am made of stronger stuff I dashed in on a whim to find you standing there and you were setting fire to love As if anything I say Should be taken to the fray And called upon as wisdom when I am just one big throwaway phrase
9.
You want a way out; well please yourself, so long We’ll be right here in the mire and the squalor and songs Pick up your feet or you’ll scuff up your shoes at this rate we’ll be stranded with nothing to lose and I know that sometimes these things can’t be helped but I’m calling out calmly for you to stop blaming yourself. I know that you’re scared; fear is just part of the day Wasn’t it you who said, ‘I don’t want to know the way.’? Well none of us know the way None of us know the way None of us know the way in this place I nearly snapped my spine as we jumped off the wall Miles from the hubbub, miles from the fatuous sprawl Oh I woke up slowly to take in the morning and let it flow through me before washing out again Out of my mouth and spread onto the ceiling ‘cause this is a feeling that is seldom felt by me I’ll take the guarded and prudish and low-lives and we’ll make a hole that goes straight through the mountainside And breathe in the dust of this baffling Earth let it settle in our lungs and scream of its worth As it hurtles through nowhere with nowhere to grab hold while I find my soap-box and sneer at the old gods Well what is that worth what is all of this worth, as we plummet sideways and cling to this Earth? But I’ll take the Tuesdays of bold mediocrity; I’ll take the nights where we all wandered blindly With nowhere to go and less still to be, we slipped into shadows and muttered they’ll never find me Find me, find me, find me And we will chase the stratosphere And we will force our way out of here.
10.
02:44
It’s not likely that we’ll calm down when we could parody ourselves Standing on a fine line a hundred feet above each lie we tell And wasn’t it like us to find ourselves a negative in this? Wasn’t it like us to focus on all of the worst bits? I had a feeling in my stomach that you had more to say Well ain’t it always the way? Yeah I know it’s tried and tested and it’s healthy for your soul But I’ve got a brand new set of strings and an old cereal bowl And that’s all I’m gonna need today, it’s all that I need everyday It’s all that I need everyday I spent half a decade looking up to Conor and to Bob and Jeff and James and Mark and Thom and Joe and Win and Kimya and John and Robert and Laura and Sufjan and Tom and Leonard and David and Regina and Kurt and Woody and Wayne and Elliot and Ben and it doesn’t do comparing myself to them all again I’ll just get on here with my sentimental noise Half of it’s necessity and half of it is choice I might do a Masters in The Science Of The Soul And then head back over to collect my dole ‘cause I could go mad here any second I am gonna break Unless it’s all been a dream and suddenly I’ll wake Into a room into a Here into a screaming present tense Into a spot that’s ruled by shutter speed disguised behind a lens And wasn’t it like us to find ourselves a negative in this Wasn’t it like us to focus on all of the worst bits I had a feeling in my stomach that you had more to say Well ain’t it always the way?

credits

released April 7, 2012

All songs written and recorded by me, Ardie Collins

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Ardie Collins Cardiff, UK

I'm a songwriter from Cardiff, Wales.

In 2011 I released a song a day. In 2014 I released a song a week. I haven't been up to much since.

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