Cooper52

by Ardie Collins

/
  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

    You own this

     

1.
This city’s pace, How it rumbles slow No airs and grace, Or putting on a show I gave it all I have except for loads Now it’s time to go Your stolen glance, Will catch you up Give me a half a chance, And two thirds luck Your weathered heart seems ready to give up Don’t you dare give up It’s almost as if everybody’s crazy It’s what happens when your choice is “sink or swim” These well-tied ties and nebulae are at odds when fitting in a mind Like the thought that war is something you can win I like the pace, Of this sleepy house In the hall I hear an oldie spinning ‘round It sings, “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?” I hope that he found out
2.
Part I It’s easy now to see just how the present’s leaking fast When it’s all, all made up Never mind, perfect your whine and your affected croaks Maybe they won’t catch you up Such bad blood Between such good friends All I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag Give it time, it’s what it craves to let the phrases flow Do-si-do, and so on And they watched us grow Between well-made beds All I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag Part IV And I know you, I know you’d say that all is not lost That’s where they found us with our chubby little forearms crossed I’d been away from here for so long that I thought I had this whole place figured out But maybe I’m so close to it I cannot hear the echoes for the shouts ‘Cause all I wanted was a vision of your worries in a body bag All I wanted was something I hadn’t worked out I already had And though I’m twice the size of someone else from half a lifetime ago There’s still secrets in the pavements and there’s voices in the cracks along the road
3.
Another year and maybe I’ll work this out For now I’ll just muddle through noise Tell me just as soon as it’s too much trouble I’ll pretend that you had no choice And I hope, I hope That this lump that’s in my throat Isn’t gonna make me choke before tonight And I’d pray, I’d pray If I thought that it would save If I thought that it would save us any time I could hear the morning apologising Today it didn’t feel like a show No one seemed to offer some understanding Pretending that they didn’t know And the radio Plays a song I used to know And it dances in the corner of my mind And now I’m fourteen years old Traipsing down familiar roads All we wanted was to be outside Now and then it feels like making up for Time that was never lost Funny how there isn’t a price for sorrow Funny how there’s a cost
4.
Who would've known that scissors beat stone Patience wins out in the end Try as I might the words are never quite right Away from my paper and pen And they stick In my mouth Like a fog Pluming out Thick and loud I used to the moan the most awful of groans At the thought of climbing from my bed And it shook the walls and it ripped through the walls Before a sound quiet as death I can wait 'til today Never felt so awake It's getting late It's getting late And so your neck gives in To your drooping skull Like the mission bells By the garden wall Where you lost your fear And you let it all Come tumbling out Of your livid mouth Like the spitting kids On the concrete bridge Picking cars below Aiming at their lids Better there for now Where it's safe and sound Than those broken homes Where it's always loud So I hold my tongue Like it's mine to hold When there's nothing here That I really own It returns with lust To the dirt and dust All you need is love 'cause all we have is love Is is art I make? I can never tell How a piece of work Works like peace as well For a weary head In a spinning room Filled with bad ideas And sweet perfume
5.
Strange hope to be here when everyone is out tonight And me and my thoughts are meant to make it through the night And day by day I learned about the malice in the sun I heard it say, “I’ll love you any way I want” A braver soul might just let go to start again The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers If I gave up it wouldn’t be for anyone I met your sad eyes just when I was least suspecting So I’ll sing my little songs about no one And I will sing them like it hurts A braver soul might just let go to start again The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers Strange hope to be here when everyone is out tonight And me and my thoughts are meant to make it through the night And day by day I learned about the malice in the sun I heard it say, “I’ll love you any way I want” A braver soul might just let go to start again The morning swells as bright as hell with steady breaths And it’s slipping through my clumsy fingers
6.
You'd take another step if you thought it would do any good The problem with my head is lately it's been rotting wood. I wish that I was brave. I wish I had something to say. We take it on the chin, we take it where we can get it Maybe we are lost because we are all just kids I wouldn't trust myself So I'll trust someone else Give it space and give it time I cannot promise that it will be fine But give it space and give it time Anything is worth a try Here is all I know wrapped up in a little line We want twice as much, and we want it in half the time Ghosts are just old dreams Promises to ourselves that we forgot to keep.
7.
Clattered forks and paper napkins Anything that might distract from Your stomach pit, and how it’s twisting up I’m just saving up for a rainy day with you You must feel like a poltergeist In this place where it’s windy twice The way you pick up things That feel like your own, but not quite “Bring back the astronauts,” I heard them say “They kept our hopes aloft,” I heard them say “I reached the great beyond, in dreams of weightless silence” We’ll keep at these stormy odds And leaving our trail of gods Like a child’s thought That might’ve grown, we moved on “Bring back the astronauts,”... Our liver-spotted hands Still crave that plot of land Some dirt and dust We think we can trust with our plans “Bring back the astronauts,”...
8.
Don’t get stuck in your head there’s a million little turns That lead to dead ends with a million places They don’t go Maybe I’m out of time or maybe I could just Bring something to mind that No one knows There’s a whole lot of people with a hole in the middle waiting for something to fill it up There’s a whole lot of people with a hole in the middle, we’re gonna need more than luck Stone me here where I stand I said my piece And now I’ve run out of plan I can myself Slowing down There’s a whole… Don’t get stuck… There’s a whole… Sometimes something’s so loud we can’t bring ourselves To feel a tiny bit proud, but then remember that it’s Something new That wasn’t there when you sat down There’s a whole...
9.
My god, it's here again, and I can't help but hold my little breath And close my eyes so it's not there Forgetting that I made it You've got those shaking knees and shimmering epiphanies Or so they seem So turn the light off, we're paying bills that we can't pay We don't mean business, but we should look it anyway Don't blow our cover, we're like people who have real opinions and care if there will be another day For now the jury's out on whether I'm a jester or a clown Either way I pray for laughter Either way I'm drinking after By now I've learnt how the ghost in the machine’s been hiding out I just wish that I it made some difference So turn the... You've got those... So turn the...
10.
And so the same old wind rips through the low, thick fog In the alleyways where we fought like dogs The last to drop was the last to lose And then history became a deja vu And repeats itself like some rotten food Wipe your mouth, there's so much work to do So I turn a phrase so smug and smart A second coat upon some timid art Each day leaves cracks how quickly it can fade And though the branch was high above the swirling ground I was a stoic stare and a mumbling mouth "I cannot... I cannot be afraid". Here comes that headrush Here comes that falling down Get some air before it's all gone And put our faith into a ticking clock Time is selfish, like the god it is It was a simple night with the distant stars And we near forgot with our heavy hearts That we are part, yeah, we are part of this And with a cold handshake and a fearsome grin There's a bottom line and a sprint to win They help themselves and get by without friends So smile a smile for the photograph Because it all adds up in the aftermaths Time and time and time and time again Here comes that headrush Here comes that falling down So I turn a phrase so smug and smart A second coat upon some timid art Each day leaves cracks how quickly it could fade And though the branch was high above the swirling ground I was a stoic stare and a mumbling mouth "I cannot... I cannot be afraid".
11.
Who knows where the fear begins Trace it back to its origins You were always a shaky kid When you walked, kept your eyes fixed to the ground Let me try some sincerity Let me tone down the quirk in me I sing out of character I write out of fear of life without it I miss the camaraderie I miss our misguided feet They waltzed along aimlessly Under an evening without harm Nostalgia was better then Not too sweet, just enough to try again Dip your toe in the fountain pen Let the ink make its way towards your heart Hold that thought it could be all that's left beyond this age of rust And with all our flaws and all our foibles we document what we're prepared to show I'm not a preacher of misery I think we can mix want and need I guess there's a symmetry The way a note begins and ends with nothing The Earth's a victim of circumstance Shoots a stranger a worried glance Don't know what but we need a plan Don't know what but our gut will guide us on it Hold that thought it could be all that's left beyond this age of rust And with all our flaws and all our foibles we document what we're prepared to know
12.
Home, it’s been playing on my mind that I make time that I let go And kid, it might not be the rosy picture that you paint of how you lived But then we know it is Sleep, I’ve been thinking that you might not hold me up in great esteem Yeah sleep, I’ve been thinking that your world and mine have pretty different dreams And they are ripping at the seams Bless that smile you’d hardly know it’s learned the glitz and glamour show That yesterday was holding out on us Peace, I can hardly find the words to say how much you mean to me I guess that’s just how it should be Bless that smile you’d hardly know it’s learned the glitz and glamour show That yesterday was just kicking up a fuss Home, it’s been playing on my mind that I make time that I let go And kid, maybe it’s not the rosy picture that you paint of how you lived But then we know it is
13.
Same old again, a look into nowhere too soon We'll marvel at thoughts or gawp at the size of the moon We'll never forget what they said, how the cards we were dealt were from a trick deck, But that worry inside of her head, how it grew Just past the house there's a bar to get in from this cold We can pine for the past like we know how it feels to get old Tracing the tabletop's grooves Where it gathers a glimpse of a world in a room Where time isn't welcome to loom, so it goes 'cause there's damp in the hourglass, binding the grains of sand Slowing down time, that miserable thief ‘cause the future seems big today, way more than yesterday Make yourself bigger and show it your teeth A smudge on your hand means you must've left something at home It's happened again, you forget who's the voice on the phone And little by little it cracks, sentences muddled and worried looks back From a face that you feel like you know, but you don't From a face that would muster a laugh at your jokes 'cause there's damp in the hourglass, watch as it binds the sand Slowing down time, that miserable thief And the future seems big today, way more than yesterday Make yourself bigger and show it your teeth Same old again, a look into nowhere too soon We'll marvel at thoughts or gawp at the size of the moon We'll never forget what they said, how the cards we were dealt were from a trick deck, But that worry inside of her head, how it grew
14.
Back-pedal like it does something Chains winding through a breeze that's fast and low I'm making a bold decision I'm making a deal with someone cold They might've said "trust no one" Or they might've said "safe journey home" And you still rely on that store-bought home There's still time, maybe they need you There's still time, maybe they need your words To leave your trembling mouth A city sky is filling with them now Like some kind of premonition, I can feel my heartbeat slowing down And you still rely on that store-bought home Every time I'm stepping forward Every time I leave a little bare But it's not like it's a puzzle That would serve to get us anywhere Do you like this phony better? This thoughtful pause and wistful stare? And you still rely on that store-bought home Back-pedal like it does something Chains winding through a breeze that's fast and low I'm making a bold decision I'm making a deal with someone cold They might've said "trust no one" Or they might've said "safe journey home" And they might not believe us And the lies we've tried to rehearse But we'll take them over stale words And store-bought hope
15.
Same spot, bodies all around me like the Christmas better left forgot Same plot, we can team up in the attic or else take a staircase each and split up The rain tonight is heavy, making us grow old in double-time And so I show the numbest smile and hope that no one's paying any mind We'll call it fever They'll make a believer Out of you yet 'cause you seem so upset With the price of this fresh air That's tainted with fresh cares "Some shoot from the hip, and some shoot from the lips," he said Wake up, we're stranded in a morning and no one seems to care or want to help And I take just as good as I give just as long as we're both taking from myself I'll add two for every one I take and hope that that's enough Each line is like a log removed, weakening a dam that I build up We'll call it a fever...
16.
You've got a lot of nerve to steal somebody's line But then you made it self-aware, so I guess that it's fine Find a barrel, scrape it out Gotta let the bad ones out Pleased to meet you and that little corner of your mind I struggle to tell, I struggle to tell If I really mean the things I say or if they happen by themselves I struggle to tell, I struggle to tell Why anyone should care and if it's something I can sell Please, God, don't get mad, get yourself a drink The problem with you deities is you act before you think Maybe it'll settle down No one needs to burn or drown If it helps we all have days that make our stomach sink I struggle to tell... Oh, what a crying shame to have nothing to cry for It can make the day a drag that grates across the floor Let's make a day where you will say That you'll reverse this slow decay And I will set aside a day to learn another chord I struggle to tell...
17.
Part IX Take a walk or take your own sweet time Either way don't let it plague your mind That it's now They grew up in a house that tilted right They flashed a smile for the rich and white And it sank She edged in slowly, looking fever thin Barely present, mouth a vacant grin So let down Part III You said we were just animals in different clothes Don't remember much, wish we'd kept in touch It's there's something I have learned, it's to never tell People tend to hear what they want to hear and let it swell You said we were all promises and future ghosts Things are looking up, things are looking up It's there's something I have learned, it's to never tell People tend to hear what they want to hear and let it swell
18.
I heard a voice from the other side, it was sweet and snide And it tried to comfort me, tried to send me off to sea But there's that sound of the violin, how the friction sings Of a home that never was, of a distant "just because" You wait on your toes, "not yet," was all that you said, Stretched you neck 'round the bend, held your stance like a friend Am I keeping you up? Just nod, I'm an affable sod, I can laugh if they want, maybe that's all that they want They sat inhaling the setting sun, bit their jealous tongues The way it only tries to be exactly all that it can be But I arrive like a slow parade, pockets deep as graves At present, tense is how I feel, is there a glance that I can steal You wait on your toes...
19.
Might as well be Tuesday for all that I know This is not my floor, this is not my home I can call the shots but pretend that I won't I can hide for week then fuss and moan 'cause I'm a godawful friend Would you like some pomp with your circumstance Would you like a plea for another chance The way that you a squirming like your gut feels a bad Is something I don't want but just hope will pass 'cause I'm a godawful friend I heard that people talk about people's things I heard that people share their darkest dreams I heard that there's a place where the people go Tell me what it's like and I'll be snide and small 'cause I'm a godawful friend Might as well be Tuesday for all that I know Might as well try and then wish you never spoke I can make you feel like a fraud in your home I can make you feel like I can take a joke 'cause I'm a godawful friend
20.
Looks like it's getting worse My little universe Slow and steady caving in Slow and steady with a grin There goes the chosen one He's lonely as a gun He isn't any fun He's caught up in his blissful vision I would always say, "we are how we behave" So why am I not seething deep down, breathing deep and screaming out the door Someone keeps giving me days, then they look the other way, between vacant blinks I slouch and think then hope tomorrow I'll get given more Please take this helping hand Your pull will help me stand My deeds are good and true My deeds are good for nothing I'll fix my scruffy tie I'll fix my strange good bye There's those who'll do or die There's those who'll "see you later" I would always say... Looks like it's getting worse... I would always say...
21.
Dark eyes The face at the window is all right He lost his way in another life An easy mistake with the toll that it takes In an age that's so absent of love Inhale You've got a million and one tales They lean in close 'til the air's stale Your higher cause is to reap the applause Of a room swelling outwards with noise Let's pretend there's nothing we can do Let's go out into a night that's black and blue He smiles The man on a soap box with damp eyes Lost in a moment that ran wild Left with no substance in unfounded judgements that serve to point blindly at air Let's pretend... Dark eyes The face at the window is all right He lost his way in another life An easy mistake with the toll that it takes In an age that's so absent of love What's in your head tonight? Your legs are slack but your eyes are bright We're hanging on maybes, we're betting on mights What's in your head tonight?
22.
I forgot who I was about a week ago Making idle chat about the weather's hopes March out in the sun, was sure to grab my coat You know it changes fast, except for when it won't I finally see where I belong It took leaving town, it took this song It's when the nights were warm It's when the nights were long And the laughter pulls me and it's fierce and strong But now we make ends meet until we meet our ends Doesn't have to be, but it seems the trend Better have some kids, watch it start again Help them grow up strong, help them pick their friends You've got that two-tone heart You've got to lay down low You've got your brother to thank for all this thankless bother You've got to lay down low Pressing both your hands against the old shop front To get a closer glimpse at what it is you want Oh, how I envy you, how you can buy it up Not some forgotten night in some forgotten park So I stare again at my shuffling feet With a song in my ears, they keep the beat With a one, two, three, four, mercy me, I've got everything I could ever need You've got that... I forgot... You've got that...
23.
You watch from the darkness of the corridors, it’s going on outside again, the squealing and the wailing wind Beats us why anyone would choose a life, but I can make a go at it, forget the way it starts and fits Hold tight, it’s a long old fall from way up here and your time hasn’t come Don’t mind if you keep the hero in your legs and the coward in your lungs I have no tales to tell, the one I have I don’t tell all that well I lost my way with words, became a Myna Bird Tough love was pulling you this way and that but with the patience of a docking shop you guide a straight and narrow fit For once I’d like to see the world the way of someone with the widest eyes but no one in their line of sight Hold tight, it’s a long old fall from way up here and your time hasn’t come Don’t mind if you keep the hero in your legs and the coward in your lungs I have no tales to tell, the one I have I don’t tell all that well I lost my way with words, became a Myna Bird
24.
Gaps in the stairs, hands grab your toes No peace and quiet, but we wouldn’t like that At least, we wouldn’t know Wrap yourself up, breath turns to smoke I guess it must be in me, all this middle-class whimsy Needs somewhere to go There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am You ran for a week, or so it seemed Gasping lungs empty, tears down your red cheeks Only 13 It comes and it goes, you pity then gloat A flash of a smile delivered in style And, oh, how you know There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am I live on the edge of a 1 foot high ledge There’s promise of grazing but hardly worth bracing So why am I scared? There were names on the top bunk slats, some thoughts out of the bag Learnt my lesson after that, think it made me who I am Gaps in the stairs, hands grab your toes No peace and quiet, but we wouldn’t like that At least, we wouldn’t know
25.
The drunkard's song sounds lonely tonight Without a choir to harmonise Oh, how the windows are thing Letting his sweet bellows in He hopes that you're fine You grew up, it was the worst thing you did You should've stayed where you hid Hearing the voices cry out "Wherever you are, come out" Breathing shallow and quick It's on the tip of my tongue I remember now what it is that I've done I hope you'll forgive such a man A man who is coy as I am As I am
26.
Calm as you like with shame on their skin They knock on the door, feel the house caving in And I know you'd call this part of the plan The way it grows in the room like slow clapping hands I met a world in the deepest of sleeps It led with a joke, it moved like a creep And your time between inhales and exhales will grow And in those moments you'll make time slow Pray for the gods 'cause they're lonely tonight They broke their own rules and so hid out of sight And there's truth in the fact that we made up our minds Dreamt them up slowly a piece at a time
27.
You said, "hey, would like to write a folk a song?" I said, "Yeah, when I'm done with my yoghurt Then I'll call the bank and sort through this mail Hey, where did you put the granola?" But I've got three chords and they're simple to play And the tune is the sort people know Yeah I know the kind, just let me put up these shelves And then I'll be ready to go The hardest part about writing a song Is caring enough to begin with I know there's washing and dishes to do But at this rate we'll never finish You were the one who suggest this first And I've got my own stuff to do Don't worry, man, I'll be right there I just have to polish my shoes There are some tricks to getting this done We'll write a verse where there's nothing but strums We'll write a verse where the last line is hummed *Hums* The hardest part... The sun's going down, haven't eaten all day Yeah, man, I know how you feel I don't think you get it, I'm tired of this sheet Hold that thought, here's a blog about seals The hardest part...
28.
She said, “I dream in black and white, And save the colour for daylight So the blur and fuzz is bold and bright Always in full bloom I’m more lucky than I can believe In a plastic chair not meant for sleep I turned ten and you stayed with me In a hospital room There’s scenes I know will never go Her skin was slack, her breaths shallow We watched her move to let the air all Escape from her bones It’s times like that that bring it home It’s not a place you’ve left alone It’s an ugly smile on a face you know That lifts away the world I’m a stranger in an even stranger place It’s like I’m eating up while they’re saying grace They can see the phony on my face Hope it makes them feel alive ‘Cause I never thought I wanted much And I’ve never been in any rush But I swear that time is speeding up Every time I close my eyes Tell me that old, dirty joke Pretend you forget how it goes Like the way you say you used to smoke But keep some for those special nights (And feel special almost every night) I’m feeling better every day Not that you asked anyway But I’m learning that that’s okay To just say that things are looking fine
29.
Just like baby steps, each turn I’m out of breath, A throat with little left We laughed at nothing for a week that filled the sky with noise You could hardly tell, with this sallow, swine of hell I’m pleased to meet you, you’re full of blame and doing pretty well You’re so very shy, your face gives you away And even if the world cared then you know it wouldn’t wait But maybe it’s grown rude, it should know better at its age You said more than you should, but who counts anyway? Missed another bus, rent another room This whole month’s a bust, go to sleep ‘til June But what would that kid say? The one you used to be? He would dream an army that would march out of the sea Spend a little time, throw out the receipt You can save when you can’t move for blisters on your feet and take your own advice, and stay a bit absurd It may seem like a vice until you’re trying to get heard
30.
Meet with me and tell me lies We’ll escape the turning tide Saying things are looking fine As you put a little something in your coffee This is not a noble cause Months of work for faint applause But I never thought it was Anything but something to remind me Of me Don’t act scared They’ll see it And people aren’t forgiving as you think It’s in every story that we tell They can’t forgive themselves Even if I’m sinking slow With half my mind on tomorrow I can make a moment grow By sneaking up to pull it to the ground You had smudges on your heart Hoped that time would wash them off Running fast so it beats hard But all they did was blend into your body Don’t act...
31.
Still as hell, this morning, looks like the world has paused I can hardly help it if I backed a losing horse, The odds just made it seem to good to lose And though I know that I don’t really stand a chance Of speaking how it is as though I understand, I don’t need the blues to get the blues This second wind could bring a turnaround Don’t let the sails go down, I know you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t I know my heart has been this way before So long ago, It’s good to see him, to see him Still beating strong with a glimpse of hope To flush the cynic out, We don’t need him, don’t need him The way it flits about must be why I cannot sit still If you’d like a minute then I’ve got some time to kill, But I can’t promise that I will not tell This second wind... It’s always that bit later that I hit my stride, I once sang of pride, And how it eats us, it eats us I trust the words much more when they just flow It’s as if they know, Just what we’re thinking, we’re thinking Still pressing on and with a glimpse of hope To flush the cynic out, We don’t need him, don’t need him
32.
Still alive despite this cold Press your ear to the ground below No way back for this stampeding herd ‘cause people say the stupidest things, Without a thought for the grief it brings But there’s comfort in the way we’re made of words Oh my, my pulse is feeling loud If they could only see you now It is strange how my pride has grown But the way I used to take a joke Has faded slow, soon to disappear Like a string of pearls around a neck Each one clinging to the next We can’t let go, there’s safety in this fear Oh my, my pulse is feeling loud If they could only see you now If you’re half-alone in a piece of time with a make or break sort of frame of mind Let the moment pass let it strain a smile in a twirling mass in a blur of style You were safe and sound in those wailing woods, an obsession now that won’t do you good But that never stopped the most ardent men with a thirst for joy that’s without end And it rumbles on that forgotten song of a million souls who did nothing wrong But to follow those with a charming sheen and a promised plan that was swift and clean And it all floods back from where once was dearth like the smell of rain hitting hot, dry earth With a pull that’s strong that we can’t resist, where the past leans close with a loving kiss
33.
Can’t believe what the papers say It’s a big black cloud hanging over today But you’re a mess of joy and a rush of play And I know it can’t be gone This isn’t a prototype A first dry run to see what it’s like The only sun you’ll see is right Before your bleary eyes ‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine And it’s a little younger getting younger all the time And then those words, shiver up my spine And they say, “god damn it, you’ve got to be kind” A shaking voice says, “watch and learn” We can all just wait our turn We’ll just loiter in this no man’s land And they can come to us ‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine... I heard that you were back in town That your eyes said sorry but I won’t back down I guess there’s hope in how you stray That we can’t get back to what we crave ‘Cause it’s opened up this little mind of mine...
34.
Please excuse the mess, I haven’t been myself But I digress, for the third time in three minutes Such a simple soul that cannot take these layers that pile on and on so high But since we’re packing up, there’s a crack across the ceiling Where we leapt up, as if the room could not contain Such a wreckless love that leaks from us and travels up and swims into the sky They have put a ration on “Hello” Call up all the people that you know So I struck a match, when I should’ve struck a balance And I lit a fuse, that was only out to get us And this either/or, just like before, could be the only thing that will survive There is something nervous and aglow Call up all the people that you know And my jealousy, is worse than anyone that I know So I fail to see, this moment right before me But we all know, it’s no surprise, the trick is just to mix it up sometimes They have put a blockade on the road Call up all the people that you know
35.
Stranger things have crept across this blank space The way your body feels just like a suitcase It isn’t hard to see your thirst to fill it up And there’s a limit to the carbon in the coal shed There’s a proverb that is reeling round in my head Says never part with what you’re willing to give up Save our little souls You have made a brother of the cold Keep your steady ears pinned to the walls Save our little souls You could stop the raucous if you wanted You could find plan inside a matchstick And watch it grow beyond the sum of all its parts Save our little souls You have made a brother of the cold Keep your steady ears pinned to the walls Save our little souls Stranger things have crept across this blank space The way your body feels just like a suitcase It isn’t hard to see your thirst to fill it up
36.
Oh, Neptune, I’m worn out and feeling spare Oh, Mother, I promise that I’ll get there A little groan and I lift my body up another time Make it creak and stretch and settle and align The radio fills the room with awful words Oh, Neptune, you tried to hide A quiet yearn for the simple life But you can’t change an orbit and expect to stay disguised And you can’t build a bridge without the other side You had bought a life that I was renting I would ask you to tell that story one more time But I know it makes you sigh and then resign To be the bore you never dreamt you’d be To be the one who longs to return to the sea Oh, Neptune, I am sad to see you leave
37.
We watched as they gathered on the pavement How very wise of us And I heard that the key to live forever Is to give the people what they want We heard them decades before us Laughing and breaking bread Hope you stay alive I hope that that's all right That that's a hope of mine It was just like us To ask for so much And not just be enough We can pick up where we left off As if everything was just an in between And I am so prone to nostalgia now I fear that that's the way I've always been We heard... Hope you stay alive... We had pride that was ours to keep And those simple songs that felt just like sleep Carried on with their wayward beat Soft and slow in the midnight heat And you'll never be lonely with words that sink slowly and into your steady bloodstream Hope you stay alive...
38.
I was wondering if you came back strong Wondering if you’d mind that much If hid you in a song Don’t rush, time is in the careless cracks There’s no use in worrying if you’ll end up on your back Three more gulps to a swallowed pride I’ll take your pity and I’ll come inside I’ll wipe my feet with a crunch and slide I am not who I’d hoped and that’s fine Maybe I can sit here still awhile I won’t cause a shuffling fuss I’ll just show a simple smile There was, something in the flower beds Something that we let swell up Something that would want us dead Three more gulps to a swallowed pride I’ll take your pity and I’ll come inside I’ll wipe my feet with a crunch and slide I am not who I’d hoped and that’s fine A false move and everything could tumble down But in truth, there’s more to find than can be found And I learnt that truth has value in the end And for what it’s worth, I really fucking miss my friends
39.
Don't know why I found myself obsessed with time I never learnt to read minds, Least of all my own Cool news, no one really needs you You were meant to tease truth What you cultivate can't grow This is the age of our indifference Becoming our own victims Just putting on a show It's ours to miss, to hardly scratch the surface In then out a town that I don't know You are like another language, I stumble through the consonants and vowels Wrap my lips 'round moving air and try to force out some coherant sound Without an ear to hear it I assume that my words must hang there still Lonely like the books I said someday I'd read but know I never will Please trust that I am always nervous And so it tends to balance itself out You seem to think that living the dream Will mean to just escape from what is now But I don't, life is in the grace notes And art is just a way to help you shout But know this, I am not an artist I am just a man who's sometimes loud You are like another language, I stumble through the consonants and vowels Wrap my lips 'round moving air and try to force out some coherant sound Without an ear to hear it I assume that my words must hang there still Lonely like the books I said someday I'd read but know I never will
40.
Let’s trace it back to the beginning I’m in between but I’m living Why’s it so hard to let go Of the people we think that we are? Love in the back of a car Wasn’t enough for the cold You’ve got the weight of the world And I’ve gotta wait ‘til I’m old And hope I grow into my skin And still everything comes at cost Nothing was squandered and lost On our decades of just staying in We’re history’s sons and daughters And chance just thought us up I hope you feel alive And just because someone seems happy with “Just because”, that doesn’t mean it’s good enough But one thing at a time You’ve got... So I’m once again stuttering at a loss Once again compared to permafrost As if our thoughts should be free And I thought that their skin was tough Sorry just somehow is not enough And no one’s as sorry as me You’ve got...
41.
And from my trembling mouth Comes something I don’t know Cruel and bitter words Where nothing good can grow And even if they profit from your soul They’ll lose their own Still it seems to grow In my stomach pit Then settles, lying low A feeling that sits And even if I drive to Old Mill Road It wouldn’t go We’ve been over this, but it’s on my mind It’s not the place I miss, must be the time How long until I learn, the past is frozen? How long until I learn, the worth of moments? Shuffling through a crowd Their chanting gets obscene Each tries to be louder Praying they get seen I hope that it’s the words that they believe in I hope that it’s words that bring them peace We’ve been over this, but it’s on my mind It’s not the place I miss, must be the time How long until I learn, the past is frozen? How long until I learn, the worth of moments? Still it seems to grow In my stomach pit Then settles, lying low A feeling that sits And even if I drive to Old Mill Road It wouldn’t go
42.
And those bells, chiming into everybody’s Thursday Interrupt the droning of the street noise To speak of some forgotten history And when you’re midthought I can tell that you’re at your most joyful Spilling out a stream of something useless Just for the hell of it and for me I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose But we can dash and choose, just like before People wind up back in their own skin again And then begin again, older and unsure And my friend, I’m in no position to remind you That everything seems louder in the moment And time dilutes and drags things to the sea I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose... And your body only has so many cells to hold on to Clinging to each other so that you Don’t crumple into nothing in the breeze It’s amazing how you laugh it off with ease I can’t keep the promise that we’ll never lose...
43.
Keep in mind that a voice is just a voice until it finds the heart to smuggle something bright ‘Cause I feel like we’re growing more in danger of that great pretense I really can’t abide These are the towns where people live and die Our organs are gonna eat us alive And so our organs are gonna need us alive And your father said Or else your teacher said Or else someone said “These words are not my own but I own them now I spent a decade crunching numbers that just let me down I spent a weekend in an attic in my dear hometown And I painted something bigger than ourselves” Our organs are gonna eat us alive And so our organs are gonna need us alive And I’m sincere when it serves my purpose But there’s a fear that the line has blurred And if there’s one thing that I have learned We shouldn’t sully all our stories with the truth Our organs are gonna eat us alive And so our organs are gonna need us alive Our organs are gonna eat us alive And so our organs are gonna need us alive
44.
Part II First the eyes, that is where they kissed you slow So that love was all that you would see and know Gathered round a bed in a hospital room Gathered noise to welcome you into the world Up and down, your chubby little forearms held Learn the words, "Lovely day, I hope you're well" Lovely day, I hope you're well Lovely day, I hope you're well Part V Must've been, When we were nine That our blood ran cold, and we called it a sign And now we know, We can't rely On some old thought, Least one of mine It may lay, Bathed in light But it leaks, Like the sky All in all my biggest hope is that we stretch the limits of our time Part VI Let it blur I wish I studied science with a different mind I wish I'd had the gall to live a fearless life And to know it isn't done And there's still time And they watched us grow between our well-made beds Where we lay awake filled with what they said "This is Earth, And it's yours Don't mess it up This is Earth, And it's yours Don't blow it up This is Earth, And it's yours Don't fuck this up"
45.
There's a limit to the plain old drone, a little bit of human touch And I was never really rock and roll, Even though I want it so damn much Me, I'll sing about the good old days, I'll find myself the words that fit And I'll make them bloom inside your heart, Yeah, I'll really make a meal of it. Don't let it make your head sink low, It happens to the best of us And the way that time moves fast and slow, Happens to the rest of us And nothing makes up most of space, And I'm a pile of atoms with a soul And you can make a hopeless face, Or you can fill the world with hope And things can grow in the darkest places starved of light And unbeknownst to me I could be satisfied Even though I must've known it my whole life I hid I hid it well, I hid it in plain sight. I've been thinking 'bout the words I choose, I've been thinking that this thought has leaks I've been thinking I might think too much, I've been thinking that for this past week But none of that is even true, Which must mean that it's all a lie I really don't think much at all, I hardly have the nerve to try And there's groaners in the next debate, And they'll point at anything they see And they'll call it all a call to arms, As if they're in the Cavalry Join them if you feel displaced, Join them if you feel undone If your conscience has been all used up, You can always get another one And things can grow... Golden light fills this Past of mine swells it Twice its size Never cold Never cold
46.
Stop and start, that was how they said it ends We were in our so-called prime Believed in everything we said Seems we grew into our skin again I was in the middle room And you were having babies then Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?” Burrows in to call the day a truce Just a little touch of, “I was there” Burrows in to find out who else cares “Make your mark,” that was how they said we’d gain Never mind those bleeding hearts Never mind the tough terrain “Pick your side,” that was how they said we’d glean Everything we need to learn Forget about the in between Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?”... I saw my ghost sliding on a weekend train Must’ve missed the mountain air Must’ve craved that different rain Seems we grew into our skin again I was in the middle room And you were having babies then Just a little touch of, “what’s the use?”...
47.
Part VIII We'll buy a house, the day before we're buried And by themselves, words are just free noise We've got our health, shame about the weather That old guard are warming up the seats for someone else And I turned left a street or two too early And I take death way too personally Most of us are lining up together The queue won't stop 'til after we have found out what it's for Part VII And if my biggest hope is that we stretch the limits of our time All this dwelling isn't helping And I can cope with a wink down to the stalls, but I can see right through your smile Up and over, stretched my hand to catch the fleeing ball A little splash of glory if I dive And maybe all the voices through the walls were really there Maybe they were echoes that survived And such bad blood stops to serve us any sort of purpose Still more and more the less there is of time And this croak, the one that I affect now has engulfed me On and on it falters through the lines
48.
It's a radio knob stuck and broken It's a non-descript smudge on your skin I'll help you take out your rubbish tonight If you'll help me forget everything And that's bound to be some kind of wise guy Using a name that I barely recall I'll turn around 'cause I'm drawn to the sound Of a promise of nothing at all Just rest your head on the pavement This swirling and muddle will pass I'll be the one with the bright ideas And you can get all of the laughs Maybe the dawn's not approaching Maybe for once it slept in Maybe we're nowhere or maybe we're somewhere Or roughly a place in between I got my smile from my father Wide as a train in the night You got your heart from your mother I've never known something so bright And that's bound to be some kind of wise guy Using a name that I barely recall I'll turn around 'cause I'm drawn to the sound Of a promise of nothing at all
49.
You didn’t quite nail it back in 2010 But it looks as though no one stole Christmas again Now it’s gone beyond a bad cracker joke Saying you represent ordinary folk And I’m pretty safe for now, I’ll be all right, ‘Cause I’m nobody’s scapegoat, mostly ‘cause I’m white And I hate to use Christmas, we’re better than that But since it’s tradition, an old-fashioned spat Politically correct is better than spite It’s no more than small talk, it’s only polite If you struggle to keep up with what is best said Then let’s struggle with lightbulbs or else pre-sliced bread ‘Cause it’s just about progress, it isn’t a trick So find out what’s right then you won’t look a dick And if all that’s a bother, then just plain admit That you’d rather be racist, it gives you kick Can you find it in your heart To spread some Christmas cheer? And we’ll wake up to find out you’re no longer here A different opinion is all well and good And while we’re on facts: repulsive’s a word We live on a planet that’s so sick with us And it doesn’t care if you’re gaining some trust Responding to science with such flippant ease Is like learning Spanish by ironing your knees I hope there’s a clandestine motive at least Either way, goodbye, Earth. Rest in peace And fear is a currency best slipped in slow Veiled behind language you carefully chose I know that this all seems a bit on the nose I prefer brevity over verbose But since this is Christmas I got you a gift It’s a pat on the back for your stiff upper lip For the brave way you say just what everyone thinks For being deluded and tiresome old gits And Merry Christmas, UKIP What a year we’ve seen I hope that Santa knows what good kids you’ve been You say that you care but you're making things worse You might think it’s well-meaning, but so is a hearse Even that's too much credit, can't stomach the bile And your rhetoric's rancid, your vigour is vile But still, Merry Christmas, good will to all men And women as well, no we can't forget them And it might seem like schmaltzy, impractical stuff But I think the world functions better on love And people are people, with lungs and with blood And since money talks, it doesn’t listen enough You’re chasing nostalgic, intangible hopes That only exist in children’s books tropes And you’re feeling threatened, you’ve suffered enough While people fill streets up with Christmassy stuff Gone are the days where we smiled and then scoffed In the nicest sense of the phrase, please fuck off Can you find it in your heart, To spread some Christmas cheer? And we’ll wake up to find out you’re no longer here And Merry Christmas, UKIP Another year gone by I hope that Santa gives more to the rich kids this time I hope our border guards shoot his sleigh from the sky
50.
Remember when you packed the snow into a jar and sealed it closed? And put it in a freezer drawer and said that if it never thawed Then everything was as it was and would be now for the rest of time I found it just the other night It had changed but not like you and I And whether they are clear or blurred the streets are like familiar words And even if they’re laced with frost and even if my legs are lost I hope I find my way back all the same It’s like a compass running through my veins Come out if you like Come out if you like Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas And I just crave the simple things, the true and real and simple things And that is what the weeks will bring, a little burst to replenish my bones Please know you will never not be home Please know you will never not be home Come out if you like Come out if you like Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas Remember when you packed the snow into a jar and sealed it closed? And put it in a freezer drawer and said that if it never thawed Then everything was as it was and would be now for the rest of time I found it just the other night It had changed but not like you and I I opened it emptied it and sighed We cannot pick and choose but we can try Come out if you like Come out if you like Come out if you don’t like - it’s Christmas
51.
52.
Even if you know it in your heart The plummet and the climb aren't worlds apart We can't expect a booming voice to come Saying, "This is Earth. Please don't mess this up." Overjoyed or underwhelmed the line has blurred so much that I can't tell Just please know that you are home and I have got more ordered words to sell ‘cause oh my god the present’s leaking fast Learn your name, people tend to ask I have faith in the beating, human heart I have faith that faith is made of stars I had a dream that we might dance to a boundless, sweet, unending song Do si do and off to hell or anywhere between that we might want Here’s to the loudmouths, may they all live by their tongues We can tell that something here went wrong As a cast of thousands looking on I wish I’d studied science half the time But language sounds like music in my mind The Earth’s a noose, a dangling loop that’s rough and taught and beckoning and straight The Earth’s uncouth and resolute, a scallywag that’s goading us to play Here’s to the stoic, may they point at someone else You shouldn’t take your death so personally Goodness sake what just came over me? I’ve been away from here now for so long I’m learning I can build home where I want And It can be so big that it stretches out and grows and gathers pace Over fields and river beds and crumbling schools and rusting motorways Here’s to the twisted, may they guide us ever on First of all they kissed you on the eyes So that you’d know love or something trite What you see isn’t down to anyone How you see is like a loaded gun I’d hate to think that such bad blood could be enough to distance us ‘til now I’d hate to know that I have grown somehow more cantankerous than now Here’s to the liars, may they never get found out ‘cause oh my god the present’s leaking fast Learn your name, people tend to ask I have faith in the beating, human heart I have faith that faith is made of stars I don't want to prophecise a year has gone and been and gone again But I still know that there's a hope buried in the way everything ends

about

A project to write and release an original song every week throughout 2014.

credits

released December 28, 2014

license

tags

about

Ardie Collins Cardiff, UK

I'm a songwriter from Cardiff, Wales.

In 2011 I released a song a day. In 2014 I released a song a week. I haven't been up to much since.

contact / help

Contact Ardie Collins

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account